Sunday, December 23, 2012

Audrey is FOUR!

Dear Audrey,

Four years ago tonight I was admitted to the hospital after walking around for hours trying to make something happen. I was sore, exhausted, but so completely thrilled to welcome our little Jack or Audrey.
BR> I never could've imagined how much I would love you. I'm not even sure what to write right now; everything that is in my heart...well, I tell you every day! I tell you how much I love you, how precious and wonderful you are; how beautiful and smart and perfect you are. I tell you these things because I want you to have so much self-confidence that no one will ever be able to tear you down. I tell you these things because they are true; every single time I look at you I feel an overwhelming rush of love; you are my dream come true.

You truly are incredible in every sense of the word. You amaze us with your creativity and how you remember everything. You are so enthusiastic about life and so animated. One of my most favorite things to do is just sit and chat with you. I also love to watch you interact with other people, especially the kiddos in my class and the teachers at school. Do you know they all adore you? You have a way of brightening the room, and you've certainly earned the nickname, "Sunshine."

I will never take for granted the fact that I can hug and kiss and you and shower you with praise. Baby, some pretty awful things have happened to families we know recently- heck, just last week the terrible tragedy in Newtown happened. These things that have happend- where precious babies have been taken away too soon- make me realize how important it is that I continue to love on you like I do. You will never doubt my love for you, I will make sure of it.

I love your passion for singing and dancing. It doesn't matter where we are- you will break out into song and dance at any given time. You make everyone around you smile. What I love about that is how so different that is from me- I am quiet and are outgoing and loud and I SO hope you keep that facet of your personality. Dad asked me if I was like you when I was a kid. NO. Not at all! And that's why I completely encourage you to express yourself whenever, wherever. You are such a superstar, baby!

I am so proud of the little girl you are developing into. You try so hard to be responsible and the caregiver in any situation. You revel in the fact that you can teach Abigail new things...good AND bad ;)

You are sensitive. When you've done something wrong you are immediately remorseful. When you fall you make it to be waaaay more than it is, lol. But I will always take care of you and make you feel better. I am always emphasizing how it's OK to make mistakes; I hope you know that you'll make lots of them and that it's so important to learn from them. I also want you to know that the people you care about will make mistakes and that it's just as important that you forgive...I love how when I apologize to you (or apologize for Abby), you always say, "I forgive you." You emulate me in so many ways...I do try to be the best role model I can be- except for my sweary mouth ;) Living with you is like living with a real-life censor, haha. You are such a good girl :)

I think if I had to pick out what I love most about you is your compassion; recently you've tried so hard to take care of Abigail. You go into her room when she wakes up from her nap. You like to turn on her light and turn off her fan. You turn off her ocean sounds and monitor. You open her curtains. And then (this part makes me want to cry!) you say, "Good morning, sweetheart!" You are the sweetest thing and you know this because I tell you. You look at me and say, "You don't know how much I love you." Ugh. Could you be any more adorable? No, no you cannot!

I don't know what I did to deserve you. I honestly thank my lucky stars that I have been blessed with having you. My heart soars when I see you- I really can't explain it any other way. When you come out of your bedroom in the morning with a bright smile on your face; when you see me though the windows during recess and yell, "MOMMY! MOMMMMYYYYY!!"; when I pick you up from Pop Pop's or Grandma's just have that effect on me. I love you more than words can ever say and I want to thank you for giving me the BEST 4 years of my life.